How to masturbate: for women and people with vulvas
Masturbation is a part of life. It’s about discovering yourself, finding what makes you feel good, what your preferences are in the bedroom, and having the most amazing orgasms. But, it can be quite challenging or confusing to figure out how to masturbate for women or as someone with a vulva. No worries, because we’ve summarised all the tips, tricks and must-know facts right here, so you can learn the best masturbation techniques. Join us on this sensual journey full of self-love.
Even though we refer to ‘women’, ‘female pleasure’, and other gendered terminology in this article, we do want to emphasise that all the information and tips are meant for anyone with a vulva.
Why do women and people with vulvas masturbate
Whether you call it 'ménage à moi,' 'going solo,' or a 'girls'-night in,' masturbation is a natural and fulfilling part of the human experience. Exploring self-pleasure and self-love is a beautiful and empowering journey for people with vulvas of all ages. Before we dive into the hottest masturbation techniques for women and people with vulvas, let's explore why masturbation is so important.
Whatever your reasons may be – just being horny, eager to discover your body, as a release after a stressful day, during sexy time with a partner – masturbation is always a good idea. Here’s why people with vulvas masturbate:
It helps soothe menstrual cramps and muscle tension
Is it that time of the month? That's the perfect occasion to not only give yourself some well-deserved TLC, but your vulva too. You'll immediately notice your muscles relaxing and cramps fading to the background after playing with yourself.
Helps to strengthen the pelvic floor and anal area
Who knew masturbation could be a secret workout? With all that blood flowing to your intimate parts and the tensing of muscles when your orgasm, you're giving your pelvic floor and anal area a free gym session.
It helps improve your sleep
Trouble sleeping?, You might want to grab a toy before grabbing that melatonin. Having an orgasm is a proven method to relax the body and help you doze off in no time. No pills or potions needed.
It boosts your libido and self-esteem
Not ‘in the mood’ very often? Or are you not as happy with yourself as you used to be? Masturbation can help you increase your libido and boost your body image and self-esteem. By taking the time to masturbate, you get in tune with your sexual side again, discover your preferences in the bedroom, boost your confidence, and make your body feel amazing. What’s not to love?
How do women masturbate?
So now we know the why, but self-pleasure for women and people with vulvas is also about doing and discovering what works for you and your body. Every body is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach to pleasure. By understanding how your body works, exploring different techniques, and discovering your favourite 'style,' you can unlock the ultimate Big O. Let’s explore!
Understanding female anatomy
When speaking of female genitalia, most people use the word ‘vagina’. So, you might be confused about the use of the word ‘vulva’ in this article. The vulva stands for all the external parts, such as the labia majora, the labia minora, and the clitoris. So, the vulva is all you see on the outside, while the vagina is 'just' the canal that leads from the external parts, the vulva, to the uterus.
When it comes to female anatomy, the possibilities for pleasure are endless, from the vulva and the vagina, to the breasts and the anus. But let’s not forget the most important organ when it comes to female self-pleasure: the clitoris. From the outside, the clitoris looks like a small button with folds of skin that surrounds the ‘head’. However, the clitoris is a much larger network of tissues and nerves on the inside and outside of the body. Its sole purpose is sexual pleasure; pretty amazing, right?
Women masturbation techniques
Learning how to masturbate, for women and people with a vulva, all starts with getting in the mood. Wear something you feel good in, light some candles, put on your favourite music, and make sure the space feels warm enough. You can lie down or sit up straight; it’s up to you. Now.. let’s play!
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Play with your clitoris
The majority of women and people with a vulva may require clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Stimulating the clitoris can be done in multiple ways. We would suggest starting by making small circles with the index finger and/or middle finger on top of the ‘button’. Add more fingers and make your circles bigger to create more pleasure. Press harder to intensify or speed things up if you like. Some people enjoy a harder patting or slapping motion on their clitoris, while others enjoy firmly rubbing up and down with the entire hand. You can also use a vibrator or dildo to stimulate the clitoris.
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Explore your vagina
There’s a lot of pleasure to be found in the vagina. Use a finger or multiple fingers to insert in and out of the lubricated vulva and vagina, or keep your fingers inside the vagina and make smaller penetrative motions. By using a sex toy like a dildo or vibrator, you’ll be able to penetrate deeper, which can add a new level to your sexual experience!
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Discover anal play
Masturbation isn’t just about the vulva and vagina. Stimulating the anus can also feel amazing! We have to emphasise that lubrication is important when stimulating your vulva and vagina, but especially when playing with your anus. Use a lube of your choice and insert your finger(s) or a sex toy that is meant for anal play. Start slowly and only go deeper if it feels good. Slowly moving in and out of your anus can also give you added stimulation.
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Combine multiple techniques
Combining multiple techniques is also a great idea for female self-pleasure. For instance, you could use your fingers to rub your clitoris, while using a sex toy to penetrate your vagina or anus. You could also use both hands on your clitoris and inside your vagina. When stimulating multiple areas at the same time, you could experience a more explosive orgasm.
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The rest of your body
While we’ll mostly focus on the female genitals, don’t forget erogenous zones like your thighs, ears, breasts, and beyond. Stimulating your breasts and nipples can be a great way to get into the mood or as part of your masturbation session. Try rubbing, pinching, squeezing, caressing, or making small circles.
What can women masturbate with?
As mentioned before, self-pleasure is – quite literally – at your fingertips. Using your hands is always a good way to start your masturbation journey or session. However, there are so many amazing sex toys out there that will make you discover masturbation for women in a whole new way.
- Dildo: A dildo gives you all the control. You can decide on the intensity of the motion. It can be used on the clitoris and vulva, as well as to penetrate the vagina and anus.
- Vibrator: A vibrator does a lot of the work for you, and you usually have various vibrating modes from which to choose.
- Satisfyer: Even though this could be called a vibrator, it’s most definitely not the same. The popular sex toy combines suction with pulsation, which sort of mimics oral sex. This sex toy is meant specifically for the top of the clitoris.
- Shower heads: By directing the shower head on top of your clitoris, you can feel the warmth and the pulsation of the water and reach a very comfortable orgasm. Be sure the water isn’t too hot; it’s a sensitive area.
FAQs
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Why do women masturbate?
As we mentioned earlier, there are numerous reasons why women and people with a vulva masturbate. It can be done to release sexual tension, alleviate period pains, discover sexual preferences, boost self-confidence and more.
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How many women masturbate?
Masturbation is a natural and healthy way to explore your sexuality. It's a common practice among people with stigma (especially for women), masturbation is a completely normal part of human life.
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When do people start masturbating?
People start masturbating at different ages. Sexual curiosity usually starts to take shape during your teenage years, but it can be a little earlier or a little later. It differs per person. Just know, no matter the timing, it’s all natural!
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Does everyone squirt while masturbating?
Plenty of people experience squirting during orgasm, and plenty of people don’t. Both experiences are entirely normal. That’s because bodies are all unique and can work in different ways, there's no right or wrong way to experience pleasure!
For those who do experience squirting, it's often linked to stimulation of the G-spot. However, it's important to note that the existence (and more so, the exact location) of the G-spot in people with vulvas is still a subject of scientific debate.
Want to try your hand at squirting? Here’s how to give it a go! Relaxation is key, so create a comfortable environment. Use your fingers or a sex toy to penetrate the vagina and focus on stimulating the front wall. When it feels as if you might want to pee, you’re at the right spot. Keep stimulating that spot and combine it with stimulation of the clitoris for added intensity. If you can fully relax and give in to all the sensations, there’s a chance you might squirt while orgasming. If this doesn’t work for you, no worries. Not everyone squirts, and that's perfectly normal.
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